The Alien

I wrote this on one of my old blogs about a year ago, prior to the release of Ridley Scott's Prometheus:

Of the many variations on the design of the Alien, H. R. Giger's original is, to my mind, far and away the best, because it is the most alien of the lot. After the initial nightmarish creature, the design became ever more organic and insect-like (and slimy), as all subsequent films dwelt on the eusocial, hive-like qualities introduced in James Cameron's first sequel. But in doing so, they drifted away from what it was that was so unsettling about the Alien in the first place - the fact that it was NOT like anything we'd encountered before. The original was a triumph of ambiguity and perversity - here was a creature that seemed to be both animal and machine, rigid yet graceful, slow and yet capable of great speed, inhuman and yet so very, very human in such alarming ways. Its design incorporated elements suggestive of both male and female sexual organs; it was the very embodiment of rape and yet it also defied the usual categories of human sexuality, being neither male nor female.

Part of the problem is that, from the second film onward, the creature had a name of sorts. In the first film it was quite simply the Alien, an ambiguous name for an ambiguous and unknown thing. But in Aliens the creatures came to be known as Xenomorphs, meaning 'strange form' or 'alien creature', which arguably has much the same meaning but lacks the directness and uneasiness of the word 'alien' itself. Fans and spin-off media have gone even further, bestowing upon the creatures the scientific-sounding binomial classifications 'Linguafoeda Acheronsis' ('foul-tongue from Hell') or alternatively 'Internecivus Raptus' ('Murderous Thief'). It was inevitable that some of the mystery and thus the fascination of the creatures would be stripped away with greater exposure in sequels, part of the beasts's perverse allure was in its mysteriousness - it was only glimpsed briefly and to great effect in the original film.

In Defense of Jake Lloyd (The Phantom Menace)

Poor Jake Lloyd.

The kid who played the young Anakin Skywalker in the first of the Star Wars prequels, 1999's 'The Phantom Menace', has received been on the receiving end of so much cruel mockery in the years since that he's dropped out of acting, destroyed all mementos of his time on the film-set and by all accounts become quite an angry young man, lashing out at anyone who mentions his involvement in the film.

I really do feel for him. He was just a kid, he'd landed the biggest acting job possible for someone his age in the most anticipated movie of all time, and he had the misfortune to have a George Lucas penned-script to read from, with the man himself directing. The faults in the kid's performance can be laid squarely at the feet of George Lucas, I believe - The Secret History of Star Wars makes a compelling case that fanboy hatred of this film and of little Jake Lloyd is misdirected.

Back in the 70s and 80s, Lucas himself acknowledged that he was no good at writing, and thus his early films were far more collaborative, but after losing control of the direction of 'The Empire Strikes Back' he began to assert greater and greater control over the production of 'Return of the Jedi' and all his subsequent films, and was surrounded by sycophants and yes-men who gave him far more credit for the success of the Star Wars franchise than he was owed, leading him to make the terrible decision to write and direct the prequels himself. We all know how that turned out - they sucked, big time. And a big part of that is that the prequels didn't give us the story we'd been expecting - all the good stuff we'd been anticipating was left until the last twenty minutes of the third film, and instead we got a load of bollocks about midi-chlorians, Jango Fett and Padme's ever-changing wardrobe.

None of this is Jake Lloyd's fault. I personally think the kid did a great job under the circumstances - he was by no means the worst child actor I'd ever seen, and he was one of the few people in the prequel trilogy to really throw himself into the role. It's not his fault that he was expected to shout "Yippeee!" and say dumb things like "I'll try spinning - that's a good trick." He actually interacted a lot more believably with the digitally-added characters like Sebulba and Watto than many of the adult actors did. Nevertheless, with expectations running so high for the film, it was inevitable that people would be disappointed - nostalgia is powerful, and we all remembered 'Star Wars' as the best thing since, like, ever. The trailers for 'The Phantom Menace' certainly made it look like it would be jaw-droppingly, pants-wettingly good.

Still, I actually like 'The Phantom Menace' - arguably as much as 'Revenge of the Sith' and certainly more than 'Attack of the Clones'. It's full of fantastic costuming and beautiful scenery and absolutely brimming with clever ideas, and it starts evil Emperor Palpatine's story off well. A lot of people found the political stuff boring, but I liked it - it brought a new level of depth and nuance to the Star Wars universe. Of course there were missteps - the Yoda puppet was terrible, as were the CGI Jabba and two headed pod-race commentator. Secondary villain Darth Maul was magnificent, even if killed off prematurely. Jar-Jar Binks was painfully unfunny, and it can't be denied that both he and Watto bear unfortunate racial overtones. There was that whole midi-chlorian mess. And yes, a lot of little Anakin's dialogue was unbearably cheesy. But overall, it was a solidly entertaining film, and a far more intelligent one than the original 'Star Wars' and its second sequel, 'Jedi' ('Empire', of course, is far and away the best of the series, and tellingly, it's also the one George Lucas had the least involvement with).

I know he's never likely to see this, but if he does: Jake Lloyd, I think you did a great job, and I'm sorry it's turned out so badly for you. You don't deserve the hate.

Nerds can be so cruel.